The Scariest Feeling I’ve Felt in Business…
This topic has weighed heavily on me recently, as I've had time to reflect after emerging from years of intense pressure.
I was in survival mode — all that mattered was the next day. The future was uncertain, and there was no time to consider the past.
I'm writing about it here first, as it's a smaller audience… I don't know who exactly the audience is, but it seems safer than the social media masses.
Enough pitter-pattering…
The worst feeling I've felt in business is not knowing where the money for the next payroll is coming from.
Before continuing, I haven't been here for a long while, and we have our house in order going forward. Nothing is certain, especially in small business, but we're on the strongest foundation since I began in 2018.
However, there was a long period where we weren't, and there were more weeks than I'd like to admit where payroll was uncertain.
For lack of a better term, it's a fucked feeling.
The cruelty mainly arises from isolation—usually, when confronting something hard, there are people to turn to.
But not in this situation. You can't. You can't tell your people because the worst thing for the situation is panic.
And you certainly can't tell your customers, because the worst thing for the situation is… well, panic.
And bankers? Are you kidding?
So there you are, lying in bed each night, rolling through the ways you can play the shit hand you hold while every chip to your name is in the middle of the table.
Now, I don't want to seem wildly irresponsible. I made dumb mistakes, absolutely. But we were as honest as we could be with our people throughout this period.
And while plans A, B, C, D, and maybe even E had failed, there were still a few other tricks in each situation. Failure was not an option. Or at least that's what I told myself.
I can find libraries of books on business and enough business podcast episodes to last a lifetime, but VERY rarely have I ever heard anyone talk about the darkness of impending financial ruin.
Now that I've lived through some of it, I understand why. It makes you feel stupid and uncaring. It's painful. It's an insult to your ego. It could jeopardize the trust you've built with those close to you. On and on…
But damn, I wish I could've heard more about other people's experiences while I was going through it. Everyone has a story, but only behind the most closed of doors.
For you, maybe it's not financial—perhaps it's alcoholism, depression, or a failed relationship.
While I can't do much to help, the least I can do is say I can relate and that it's worth it to keep pushing.
Because even if it all does come crashing down, at least you can rest easy knowing you gave it your all. And that's all we mortals can do.
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During our recent visit to Australia, Westrac Caterpillar was kind enough to host us at their ENORMOUS Tomago branch outside Newcastle, New South Wales. I've visited many Cat dealer facilities across four continents, but this one might take the cake regarding all-around capabilities. We checked out their parts operation, rebuild center (centre), shop, and build pads, which were LOADED with massive gear. We had a fantastic day, so I hope you enjoy the video as much as I enjoyed our visit!
